Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours

Name: Clayton Chew Ming Koon
Current age: 17
School: National Junior College
Birthday: 15 July 1990
Msn : claytoncmk@hotmail.com

-9:53 AM


angles? 


-9:53 AM


my over-clogged timetable 


-2:27 AM

english oral.

waited for so long. mind strained from the mental stress. [i was the last guy]

well, the reading was okay. i think that i was a bit too fast. then for picture conversation, i think that i did fine. [but it usually turns out otherwise]. then for conversation alone. i literally tried my best to speak the first qn. [describe an interesting friend] that one i din do too well. then the 2nd qn is more ok. [state the benefits cca has with regards to the education system]. that one i think that i did ok. [hope so]

thats all for now. i feel less stressed. but still so sad. felt that i could have done better.

mr tan said , "it is so unlike you. you seem very tensed and stressed today..."


-claytoncmk crosses fingers and hope that all wil turn out fine-


my hair is dropping. dropping. that is bad.

so much for that. dexter's "interesting friend" was me. [the guy able to make the almost everything seem funny by laughing + non-stop blinking] lol. -_-"

we wanted to go play lan, but not enough people. so well. idea scraped. went to kfc for lunch. WE WAITED IN LJS [LONG JOHN SILVERS] FOR KFC TO OPEN! damn comedy sia~


-10:44 AM

another incident when i reached at 8.30am. [took 7.55am bus though]

nothing to do. so just sat around and waited for worship to commence. i look so tired. dead beat. finally realised why i lost to so many people this term.

"math marks > 75 [moderated down, 75-84 reduced to the 70-74 range, >85 to 75-100 range]
paper reduced to o'lvl standard [more people who usually failed getting into the A2 70-74 zone]

and with the fact that i did not do too well for my other subjects. i cannot use math alone to save myself [like before]. those failing or barely passed can scrape a 72? and my results both got moderated down?

no much difference in marks now. [boo-hoo?]"

well. i did what shiliang said. [wrap up all your thoughts, and focus on what you are doing now]. that is, worship.

pastor john prayed for all those who are taking cl o's today. handful of 'em. stress? definitely.

small group we decided to do a bible study on book of james. greg said that there are many good stuff in that book. then it just happened that isaac flipped to a page entitled "saving forest fire". wow.

anyway. i was kind of annoyed. my parents said that they were "going home". then ended up with me sitting at the steps of the church waiting for 1hour plus doing nothing? at least they should have let me know and allow me to go home first!

took a nap. a long one. woke up at 6.30pm. until now...

are my rsults an eyesore as said by my parents?


-11:41 PM

b-o-r-i-n-g

first two weeks of june holidays - school [ends at 4pm]
last week of holidays - school [2 days. 12-3pm]
1st day of school reopening - prelim 2

some school holiday. futhermore last week of holidays may have to return for math. speaking of math, there will be a super crash-course. 1hours30minutes for 1 chapter?

i am so blessed to be able to learn some of the chapters beforehand.

sighs. i will be so tired. and i cannot go out with my sg to play lan :( bahs.

and also... volleyball? last week of june hols? that's kind of late? or some time after church?


-8:41 AM

looking in my mmc and rs-mmc, i found pics over the term...uploaded.


my report card. no need to see parents ~whew~

i heaves a sight of relief

ms tan went, "clayton. not up to expectations."

i was expecting that line.


indeed, i have not only failed all those around me, but also myself. myself. i feel that i have cheated myself of the ultimate victory this term. the goal, seemed so far away.

met kangwei for lunch and we caught up. his braces giving him lots of pain. lots of pain. well, the food court's prices were as much a pain to his wallet, which was deflating...


time to recover. time to strike back. time to revive. a time for self-improvement. time for everything.

"Eagle's wings" by hillsongs

Here I am waiting
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing for You
Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus more and more

Come live in me
All my life , Take over
Come breathe in me
And I will rise
On eagle's wings


yes Lord, take control.


-5:41 PM


a sign in my favor? [on board the mrt] 


-5:36 PM


hold my schoolbag, will ya?


-5:36 PM


me @ mac 


-5:36 PM


errmm.. don;t like the looks of it... 


-5:36 PM


through the darkest night~ his light will shine~ 


-5:35 PM


jing chen and dexter loh 


-5:35 PM


nick leong and tzet 


-5:35 PM


andre and the lion [indecent position] 


-5:35 PM


daniel chia [melted choc] - combined small group outing 


-5:34 PM


after the rain~ 


-5:34 PM


school- heavy rain 


-5:34 PM


"S"? 


-5:33 PM


every cloud has a silver lining~ 


-5:31 PM


angles 


-8:58 AM

today. eventful day.

firstly, dexter tan wanted out. out. renounce his religion. he says that he wanted to stop being a christian :( he said that church is taking up too much if his time.

for him he has to go for cell on saturday. [4hrs] and then church on sunday. [5hrs] . pls note that all times include the travelling time of 2hrs [to and fro].

he felt that it is affecting his studies, leading to his poor results this term.


my opinion : that may be a little extreme. since his cell group is near changi prison that area there.[and he stays in bishan -_-" ] well, this is more of a committment. also, i do not see the link between exams and church-going. does attending church regularly = good exam results? no. a definite no.

well, exam results is more on how you manage your time. if your time is managed properly, you can attend church AND do well for your subjects! your results may drop, but church is not a reason!!

even so, i feel that his story is similar [if not exact] to the parable of the prodigal son [luke 15: 11-32]. i sincerely hope [and pray] that his ending will be like that of the parable.


-my day feels rotten, a fellow brother in Christ fallen-


after that e-v-e-n-t-f-u-l lunch, what i heard on the bus disgusted me. 2 catholic high boys [sec2 - red badge] were talking very loudly. very loudly. even though they were 3 seats in front of me on the bus, i could hear them as if they were beside me.

what i heard erm.. showed me how desperate they were?

near my house [serangoon north] , there were some girls from a nearby all-girls-school board the bus. [erm. i dunno wad sch is that -_-" so far, have not seen any boys in sch uniform bearing that school badge]

the sec2 boys began..

"hey.. did you see that?"
"see what?"
"that girl there...that school one..."
"huh?"
"she wearing sleeveless shirt..."
"dunno ah. where?"
"that one. see? got see or not?" [motions to the left]
"see what?"
"you noe lah. [censored]"
"orhhs~ haha...saw le. hmmmm....also, stop talking so loud lah. that sec4 boy staring at us already."

if you are wondering who that sec 4 boy is , that sec4 guy is me -_-"



utterly disgusted. IF YOU WANT TO OGLE AT GIRLS, CAN YOU AT LEAST HAVE THE COW-SENSE NOT TO VOICE OUT YOUR "F-U-N-N-Y" IDEAS! Stupid you know...

felt so ashamed. NO! i do not want to be branded the same way they are...


at least the girls [who are busy talking], did not hear them. [i hope].


useless. desperate freaks. sicko goons. get a life.


-8:30 PM

Isaiah 53 [NIV]

1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.



this passage struck me when i was browsing through the later parts of the book of Isaiah [i am still at the fron to passages]. This passage showed us God's ultimate love for us through Christ our saviour. He is a loving God. even though He banished us out of Eden [for Adam's and Eve's sins], He did not wish to see us suffer. He wanted the best for us. He wanted the best for his creations.


Psalms 55 : 22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."


-8:38 AM

hcl extra lesson - "if i were a cigarette, i would want to be born in your hands, to live on your lips, and die at your feet."

quoted mr guo

that sounded so nice~


motivational workshop conducted by the principal.
one word - L.A.M.E

to be frank, my motivation came only when i saw the 2 close-to-full-mark-cambridge-essays. wow. the writing style, was simply perfect! the vocabulary - superb! i was like "wow!" when the teacher went through the essay.

if i could only write like that.

games workshop? haha. i-will-try-to-make-it. [almost all the same sg as me going]

-time to concentrate lesser on math, and dedicate more time to other subjects-

"Fly" from hilary duff

In a moment
Everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute
All the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you feel it can it coming
Can you feel it in your soul
Can you trust this longing
And take control

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try
Cuz it's your time
Time to fly

All your worries
Leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something
When there's nothing left
And the world's feeling hollow

Can you feel it coming
Can you feel it in your soul
Can you trust this longing
And take control

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try
Cuz its your time
Time to fly

And when your dont and feelin low
Just wanna run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you're better than anyone else

In a moment
Everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute
All the world can wait
Let go of yesterday

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
And start to try
Cuz its your time
Time to fly

In a moment
Everything can change


-8:26 AM

hcl lesson in the morning is very slacky. finished work in 1hours [suppossed to be 2 hours] and ended up talking with the teacher and playing phone.

one or two way introduced by the teacher. [following our "discussion" the other day] kinda forgot about it, so didn't post :(

-and yes, the class got over the incident when i was "made-fun-of"-

motivational workshop conducted by the principal.
one word - L.A.M.E

to be frank, my motivation came only when i saw the 2 close-to-full-mark-cambridge-essays. wow. the writing style, was simply perfect! the vocabulary - superb! i was like "wow!" when the teacher went through the essay.

if i could only write like that.



-time to concentrate lesser on math, and dedicate more time to other subjects-


games workshop? haha. i-will-try-to-make-it.


-8:28 PM

sian. school wanted to call parents if L1R5 are above 20 [that's me]. God bless my sorry ass.


-1:53 PM

worship. late.

woke up at 8.30am. [actually, woke up at 6.30. then thought can rest for 1/2 hour more] showered,changed,packed and got out of the house at 8.35am [lol?] took cab. reached at 8.50am. [worship just starting?]

well. all went fine. sermon on worship was great! haha!

eh bert, sry for "dumping" you with the camera. time to resume "work" after taking so long a "leave"! this coming sunday?

well. small group. kind of unexpected. we may be doing a book? yeah! "purpose driven life"?

met joshua. he said my parents are kind of unhappy with my results. so well, wanted to find out more?

went for lunch after that.


"the art of losing myself, in giving You praise.. everlasting.. Your light will shine.."


-10:43 AM

bad day. night fell upon me.

here are my results

eng - ?? [failed]
hcl - 48.5 [failed. most probably rounded to 49]
emath - 83 [after moderation down]
amath - 74 [after moderation down]
chemistry - 57 [eew!]
physics - 67 [so-so]
geography - 40 [failed]
history elective - 49 [failed]

seeing all these... someone please kill me.

"I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand.."


-1:27 PM

morning chinese extra lesson is always a joke. the lesson passed so fast, we had plenty of time left. well, so the teacher wanted to find out more of us. well, nick tay was asked about his love life.
haha. for some unforseen reason, i was called to the front [??]. well. hardest task ever.

"pretend you see a beautiful girl [points to my friend]... how would you try to ask her out?"

i was stumped. well, just went ahead. [shall not post here lest i become the joke-of-the-day]

i predicted darkness would come. it did. i screwed. failed geography [40] , barely passed chemistry [57] , and so-so for physics [67].

screw the math department.

moderation down. my math got moderated. real bad. my emath [90] became this [83]. my amath [83] became [74]?

1 mark ? ouch~

darkness did arrive.kill me?



"If you're not the one" by David Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms


-7:50 AM

bad day. my social studies results. 20/38 ? depressing considering the fact that i was different on monday.

for many, the period of darkness is over, but for me, it has just begun.

school dismiss early, so went for lan at thomson plaza to take my mind off my problems. got trashed. zzz. poor coordination.


i am feelin fear in me. crippling fear. what if i see such results next year in my o level slip? am i really content with my results? do i want to stay like this? is this the max which i can reach? am i really incapable, and have fallen through like my PSLE? why?

-silently mourning-

is it just me overreacting, or am i seeing my dark side?

-losing my sanity-


-8:40 AM

sometimes just gives me a bad feeling about tomorrow. real bad feeling.


-3:58 AM


DOTA on eurobnet !! 3v3 game.. well.. it ended up 3v1.. where i was the 1. sad case. wellx, on my team , i got anti mage , clinkx and me [naix]

on the other team got juggernaut, rikimaru and queen of pain.

well, this is what happened at the end. i lost. [3v1 how to win?]

haha.. the first guy juz left to play in another game.. the 2nd guy has school.. and me? aww.. oso.. the girl playing juggernaut must be damn angry coz she when she left.. she typed a lot of "nice" words concerning my naix.

well.. haha.. the game turned kinda interesting.. coz.. i was like

me: "who you guys?"
juggernaut user :"no i girl"
me: "..."
to allies "hey, you from wad sch?"
anti mage:"poly. late le. gtg"
me: "..."

hahaha..


-1:41 AM

tmr taking back humanities paper. stress stress.


-3:03 PM

why do you always look at my faults? can you look at my strengths and comment on them as well? why can't you just praise me for once? is it that hard to give a simple well done? why do you always try to put me down?


-9:18 AM

today is a bad day

english compre : 24/50 [1 mark??]
emath : 90 [before moderation down?]
amath : 83 [wasted!]

was the mark to get a1 85 as the papers are brought to o lvl standard? aw to myself. i simply just suck big time.


-12:45 PM

mental stress. tmr receiving back english papers. math also. help me. i am going under.


-6:58 AM

haha. lan. ivan was so noob [i think he is not even on par with an insane AI]

so mean of me :P

i hardly ever play. yes, i hardly ever play. i am those kind which after exams go play for de-stressing purposes, not those kind who trains often. haha, thanks to ivan who died whenever he emerged, this is what the people on my lane farmed.

Chaos Knight [me] : sange and yasha , power threads , 2 ring of regen
Lich[lan shop uncle] : eye of skadi, boots of speed

lol. ivan literally got owned.. well.. his omnislash cannot even bring my life into the red zone? haha!! and another thing, when my base damage is so high, do you think that i will run from your blade fury?

rofl.

some quotes that made the game more interesting :)

"Hey, who turned off the lights?" [nick cheng when nightstalker used darkness]
"Why tiny not so tiny leh?" [ivan]
"Clayton, did you cheat? how come there are 4 of you?" [ivan when chaos knight use phantasm]


-11:45 PM

whoo~ last day of my exams!!

ended with emath paper 2. wow. that paper was a nice one. actually in the morning when they announced that going through some scripts on monday, i was feeling very very dejected. very dejected.

my exams are not over yet! give me a break will you?

well, i stepped into the exam hall very very lost and confused. the teacher at the door recognised me, and was like "don't worry, don't worry. the test is very easy..."

lol! i have other things on my mind , ok?

for the first 5 minutes of the test, i was feeling very "not in the mood" to do anything, so i just sat there and stoned. i was very slow at the beginning, taking about 18 minutes to solve the first question.

i was still thinking, what if i flunked that paper that will be released on monday? how am i going to face my parents , as tuesday is a school holiday for me? hence , i was undergoing mental turmoil :

"monday's papers released will be english and math"
"85 is too high. i cannot reach it."
"for emath you have a constant of 80+ since sec 3, why now?"
"but 85?"

from there, mrs bala's saying came ringing through my thoughts :

"those paper that you have done, it is over. nothing can be changed. what can be changed now, is this paper which you are doing."

hence, i put all my thoughts down and did the paper. it was a nice paper, a good one.

i am still feeling kind of sad, dejected. down in the dumps? hopelessness. oh, it is juz SO LIKE me to feel like that, one who is hyper most of the time.


some "notable statements" said during the exam week

1. the emath paper 1 reminds us of the times in history where calculators were not invented... [mr dennis leong]
2. oh, i see that most of you have set your phone to vibrator mode [ms krishnan]
3. o' levels are very very easy one, do not need to study. listen in class can already [george's brother]
4. cannot take it? stress? drop lah [yeow chern]
5. i going "sightseeing" outside the staffroom [andre pang]
6. if i fail english, the whole class will fail with me... [weizhong]
7. now I know why Kong Meng is named Kong Meng. You see, all his life he has been using nikons. The funny thing is that the "KON" in NIKON is the first three letters of his name. [uzzy's blog]
8. i have lost 62 marks out of 80!!! [george goh]
9. i believe that source a is more accurate then source b because the prime minister said so. [nicholas leong when proving provenance in ss]
10. how ah? i think that all my papers are screwed up leh [ivan heng]

and many more. -_-"

lol to all those people who were taking pics of my ass cr~~k!


-that's all for now-


"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.";
[Sir Winston Churchill]


-3:52 PM

tired. amath paper 2 was ok. really, it is ok.

i rushed through the paper. finished the 2 hour paper in 1 hour. [lolx!] checked the paper again and again. i think i have managed to get it right, and hoping that it would at least give me the expected result. well, one can't be 100% sure all the time right?

-missed out last part of the graph. did not draw the log curve -_-"

haha

i was feeling kind of warm in the exam hall. i am not sure why. and people, please get this right!! i am not someone who gets t-o by math or homework!!! [even though i may seemed like i enjoy them~! ]



note : isaiah is a really confusing book! it is like... i have to read each chapter over and over again, to make sense out of it.

-help-



"Unfailing love" by Chris Tomlin

You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can’t understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The one I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can’t understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still you make time for me
I can’t understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

I will praise You
Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love

Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love

yes Lord, shower Your love and blessings upon us :)
I want to be there, with You


-6:28 AM

bad day, sad day. recall me , for it is all over.

morte . finito . [ended . died.] {thanks to yahoo's babelfish}

physics paper 1 is ok. i was careless. faced paper 2 with a deep sinking feeling. i remembered telling royston in the morning that the paper is a goner. little did i know, it turned out to be real. paper 2 was real bad. bad to the extent that people can just say that it is over. all the people's built-up confidence in paper 1 is all smashed in paper 2. literally smashed. i am just so tired. so tired. at this rate, it is like most of us are going to spend our 1st 2~3 months at home :(

until then people. until then. english results and chinese results most probably will be out on monday. i am so stressed.

went to junction8 with zhi han. well, long john silver was full, so went to macs instead. the queue was long! well, we occupied 2 tables. the macs cleaning aunty asked us if we can only occupy 1 table. well, we said that 2 more coming. [wow?!]

well. acutally none were coming :P

however, it was kind of unexpected. 2 of zhi han's classmates came. then later 2 of my classmates came. then 2 of our friends came. what a coincidence!! then our 2 friends [adriel lam and benjamin phua] joined us. so in the end, 2 tables 4 people! haha.

joked about the papers, even though all of us had a sinking feeling inside. it felt as if there was a vortex within us, drawing us in...

took bus with zhi han. discussion topic : moderation for last year

languages - +8 marks
maths - c6 to a1
sciences and humanities - +1 grade
[source : zhi han repeating his seniors' words]

no wonder our seniors all flunked o's!

well. i was still stressed. zhi han began coming up with ways to help me.

zh : "do not think about it?"
me: "tried. failed."
zh : "think about something else?"
me: "like?"
zh : "anything other than schoolwork... and schools."
me: "..."
zh : "what about.. your future girlfriend?"
me: "?!"

-that's was where i left the bus-




"so you would come" by hillsong

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come


-2:29 PM

prelims coming to a close :)

monday - physics paper 1 and paper 2
tuesday - amath paper 2
wednesday - emath paper 2

THURSDAY?!

thursday = yayness!!!! [end of exams]


-2:22 PM




-2:30 AM

Lord, I offer my life to You

(Verse 1)

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain,
I'm making them yours

(Chorus)

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

(Verse 2)

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, all of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

(Chorus)

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life



i want to lay it all down for You my God. For all that i have is Yours.


-12:58 PM

small group outing in june. pls help. 2qns left.

-fellowship?

they say focus is different, so must take note.


-guys only [like our first guys small group outing] or include the girls this time?

group may get to big. shane's bringing his gf(s) tho. no sure. coz dun think i alone can handle.


"a hair story"

Rach: BERT!!!! -_- if i can find a grass cutter, I will get you one.
b: i hope the grass cutter is for clayton, cos i'm cutting my hair tmr...
claytoncmk: to b : you cut hair?! my turn to laugh now!!
claytoncmk: to rach : for bert's hair? haha.. get one for jeremy instead. he will go "noo0.. my hair!!"
Rach: yeah its for clayton. lol. jeremy? chainsaw? hurhur
claytoncmk: to rach : jeremy? he needs scissors can cry liao. was whining during TOFU when vanney and co messed his hair in the dark room
samP: wahaha you all so mean. talk about jeremy like that. so guys just happen to be more vain than others la.
samP: some*
samP: wahahaha.. and i know some guys who dont give a damn about their hair.
claytoncmk: to samp : hahax. i am very sure that jeremy will cry. "sniff sniff..my hair!!"
claytoncmk: [cont'd] chain saw? erm.. he will find it more painful than anything..
samP: sure he'll cry. so dont be so mean. let him have his pride.
claytoncmk: to samp : haha. i tried. to mess it. haha. he is a nice guy tho
samP: ya i know that. he helped me with chem before.
claytoncmk: to samp : haha. he is one smiley man!!
claytoncmk: [cont'd] if you dun touch his hair, that is
jacq: the girls in TOFU com. u noe who, gave jeremy a packet of eggs. cos it makes ur hair smooth. hahahs (=
claytoncmk: to jacq : hahaha!!
claytoncmk: [cont'd] jeremy was so amused arrgh!! my hair my hair!!
jacq: hahahs (=
Rach: muahahaha. okay I shant be evil to jeremy. so its just you and the grasscutter! ahah!


-5:08 AM

the sword was swift. it seemed like a flash of lightning.penetrated his armour like a knife through an apple. his mouth opened in transfixed shock. he screamed .nothing came out.blood spurted out. it also seemed almost like time had stopped momentarily. he fell backwards into the murky water. and was no more.


-10:04 AM

in my display pic, i look like a girl??

neoh shiliang!! i am a guy!! you know me for 4 yrs le!!

wad iz the deal ppl in calling me a girl? doing homework?


-1:11 PM

small group outing in june. pls help. btw,a big thank you to daryl and others who gave me suggestions and help indirectly in one way or other.

-fellowship?
-guys only [like our first guys small group outing] or include the girls this time?
-sentosa? meet where? time?
-beach? if rain?
-lunch? dinner?
-how many people coming? which day are most people free?
-equipment needed?
-first-aid? [lol!]
-any games other than volleyball?
-visit attractions there at the same time?

am i juz worrying too much? i think the 2nd question bugged me the most.


-12:51 PM

thot i would not blog today . cannot resist.


As I was walking
down life's highway many years ago
I came upon a sign that read
Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a little closer
the doors swung open wide
And when I came to myself
I was standing inside.

I saw a host of angels.
They were standing everywhere
One handed me a basket
and said "My child shop with care."

Everything a human needed
was in that grocery store
And what you could not carry
you could come back for more

First I got some Patience.
Love was in that same row.
Further down was Understanding,
you need that everywhere you go.
I
got a box or two of Wisdom
and Faith a bag or two.
And Charity of course,
I would need some of that too.

I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost
It was all over the place.
And then some Strength
and Courage to help me run this race.
My basket was getting full
but I remembered I needed Grace,

And then I chose Salvation for
Salvation was for free
I tried to get enough of that to do
for you and me.

Then I started to the counter
to pay my grocery bill,
For I thought I had everything
to do the Masters will.

As I went up the isle
I saw Prayer and put that in,
For I knew when I stepped outside
I would run into sin.

Peace and Joy were plentiful,
the last things on the shelf.
Song and Praise were hanging near
so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the angel"Now how much do I owe?"
He smiled and said"Just take them everywhere you go."
Again I asked"Really now,How much do I owe?"
"My child" he said, "God paid your bill along long time ago."


nice?


-1:30 PM

wad izzit with chain mail these days anyway?

still stressed out. my turn to stress. [i usually do not stress myself] 11th hour stiu can't get things right. or i keep doubting myself until right becomes wrong. clayton. it is not focus, but confidence in your answers. i need confidence. confidence in the Lord. confidence in myself.

waiting.waiting.can't wait for small group outing.in june.after exams.rahhs. confirm haf? sentosa beach?i planning it? who's helping? all-guys event [like the 1st] or include the girls this time?

planning.izzit important?

and yes, i am stilll jumping around in my room. can't keep still. haha. worship after effects?

thank you Lord for improving my voice. [ it sounds better than before ] praises be to God. You're the greatest love i have experienced.


-5:21 PM

saturday.

sam png was the other vocalist. she is really pro. really pro.

miracle happened. i realised that can sing more properly if i sing lower tone. [at least i am not flat and accuracy 0%] thx daryl !!

it was ok. daryl was like.. "you've can do it!"

yayness. the song "My God" was fast and not to mention, jumpy!!

i could hardly wait for tmr to come :P


sunday.

woke up at 5.00am. [set alarm wrongly. eeps] woke up again at 6am. my hair.. erm.. i din use enuf wax.. so my hair like exponential curve liddat. slant to one side. went to adjust it in the toilet.

planned to meet daryl to practice earlier. somehow, the 2 of us ended up eating breakfast :X

haha. he said that i seemed "shy" in ym.. [erm.. hahaz. "shy?"] well.. that sounds kinda rofl to me. shy? perhaps. coz i tend to click with my clique...

worship was ok. haha. jumped. lively scene. at least when we jumped ppl seemed more awake. [or izzit when i jump i open my eyes bigger?] yay!! and ppl jumped too!! double yayness!!

the sermon was kinda interesting..haha.. about some distinguished speaker from nepal. [yes, nepal is the word sheldon.. not some pun for something else] lol.

then he pointed at a pic and said.. "that guy looks like he is playing with his d**k" [pls correct mw if i am wrong. but i am 100% sure]

then i went "careful now..you dun wanna sam png to hear this.. "

to my shock, sam png turned around and went "huh? huh? did anyone call my name? wad izzit?"

kept mum.

small group.
"what is our name contest?"
"PAP YM- people are praying YM"
"lolx"

then it was discussion on book of Habbakuk

haha. lunch. i asked daryl if want to have another combined small group outing in the june holidays [our cycling plans the other time weren't that successful :( ] yesh yesh. it went [d= daryl neo, c= me] :

d :"clayton, how about sentosa this time?"
c :"sentosa? that place is ex.."
d :"beach volleyball? sure got a lot people come one"
c :"but.. few guys play volleyball.." [sry if i sounded like a party pooper]
d : "there're girls also you know.."
c :"girls? how did they come into the picture?" [coz our 1st small grp outing only got guys]
d :"most probably it will be an event for the whole ym..mayb you can suggest it to ryan.."
c :"... whole ym? ryan ? "


so . i msged isaac. asked him wanna plan. we [I?] doing planning? haha. why not we plan ourselves then ask people, like our combined small group outing the other time? [for those who dun know, isaac and daryl small group went to cycle/blade at east coast park.] but i think that we will be needing a lot more publicity this time !!

AlYSsa
AmElIa
ANaTaSIa
AnDrEW gOH
AndDrE Kua
AngEl
AnNe
AnNeTTe
ArOn Ho
AZalEa
barRy
bEatRice [pvps]
bEnjAmiN honG
bEnjAmiN sAy
BeRnIe
BeRtrAnd
cAra
CaRmEn
cElesTine [njc]
CHeRyl ChenG
cHoNg boOn
ClaREnCe nG [chs]
ClArice [pmc]
cLarIce [njc]
ClaRiSsA
cLemENt [chs]
CoLLeen
CoLLin TAnG
COrrIne
charlyn [njc]
ChRiStoper
CheE Yann
Chen YanG
cHInyEE [chingay]
ChU xUAn
CynThIA
dAnHong [njc]
DanIEL [pmc]
DaVId
DaWn
DeLanE
DenIeCe
DeNvEr
DeSMonD [Ah Des]
DeSMonD [MoMo]
DeSMonD [nj]
DexTeR LoL
DiNah
doUsHitE
eDmUnd Toh
ElaINe TeO
EuNicE
FaItH
fAngg [chingay]
FEliCIa
fElIX [chs]
FlOrEncE
GaBby
GaBrIEl
GeOrgI
GlOrIa
gEralDine [njc]
GinA [njc]
gRace [chs]
GrEeNie
hAzeL[nut] [swim]
hUiLing [chingay]
hUi pINg [nj]
IsAaC ChIa
IsaBeLlE
IvAN sEet
IvAn tHam
Jac
JaCKo
JasMinE [nj]
JasMinE [pmc]
JeNNifeR
jeSsIe [nj
JiA hAo [nj]
JIe cHoU
jiN XiaN [nj]
JiNg chENG
jOEl [chingay]
JoHn
jON [YM]
JoNaThan LiM
joSoN [njc]
JUn wEI [chs]
JUn YanG
hAN wei
KaH HO [nj]
KaI jUan [pmc]
keN yaN [swim]
kevIN CheW
kristy [njc]
lAi MEnG
LaWerEnce
LiAnG ZHi
MaRcuS
MaRiE
MaT
MaX
MaXinE
MeIqI
mElissA [njc]
MeLVin
mEnGTinG [chingay]
mIch [yh]
MinG hAn [njc]
MinGs[chs]
MiSS cHow
Nat N.
NaT P.
Nick [4-8, chs]
NikKi
PS AaROn
Ps NOrmAn
qiN rUI
RacHeL oNg
RacHeL LeE
RaLph Ong
RAvi
RyAn
Reuben [chs]
RoyStOn hoN
RuI jIe
sAbu
Sam LiEw
Sam PhuA
Sam wONg
SamuEl yU
SamuEl ZeE
sAsThi [njc]
ShANe
ShAkiLA
ShaO MiNg
shAroN
SHawN LeE
SeRenE moo [nj]
ShAuN SnG
ShEldOn
ShiReEn
sHujUN [ogl]
sIjIng
Si mIn
TasH
TeRrY
ThAng
tIffAnY [njc-acjc]
TiMoThY
TiOng HuI
TrIntY
TZe TiAn
VaNdA
VAnESsA
vICtOr
VicToRiA
wAi Kit [nj]
WeE lOnG
Wen JiE
WeN jIe [food blog]
UzZy
verOnIcA
wEn yA
yaO kHuaN
Yi ChEN
Yi shUeN
Yi YiNG
Yi zHeN
yinG XiU [chingay]
YuE HAo
YuE HAo n miCH
yUE fEI [chs]
YuN tIaN [njc]
yURu [pmc]
zhi HaN [CHS]
zhi HaN [NJC]
zhi kAi
zHonG mINg
zI YinG
zI YinG [wordpress]
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